Going? Growing? Glowing?

Took me forever to create this blog, mainly because I didn't really want to, but knew I should. So I started playing with the different elements of it... like the name. I went to my favourite books, songs and even googled quotes (judge me) trying to come up with a name, then I remembered watching Peter Pan when I was about 14 years old (judge again w/e lol) and the one line that stuck with me for days... "All the world is made of faith, trust and pixie dust." Back then it rhymed and was cute, today it rings true, simple words that resonate with such emotion, gave me hope in a way. Hope because faith and trust aren't traits I practice often, experience has taught me to guard my heart and as such I usually place all emotions aside. However, I find that with a little bit of each of these, I may become better, whole.

 

Faith: Confident belief in the truth, value or trustworthiness of a person, an idea or a thing. 

Trust: Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something. 

And Pixie Dust: Magic fairy dust that Tinkerbell used to make Peter Pan and all the other kids fly.

Now you see, hope. (If you don't... sorry.)

I also came up with "Life is but thought," googled it as well (google is our friend) and saw that it was Sara Teasdale who said that. Good stuff.

Anyway... 

Someone made a tweet a few days ago, that has stuck with me, has been nagging me really. "Going, Growing, Glowing." Three simple words right? WRONG. So wrong. 

At first they didn't bother me at all, I liked the tweet and sought to steal it right away, I put it in my BBM status, retweeted it too many times lol, all that jazz, then I stopped and thought about it. Have been thinking about those three words for days now, non-stop, for several reasons. What bothers me the most about the phrase is the order in which the words are placed:Going, Growing, Glowing. ME: Glowing, Going, Growing.

See what I mean? Let's examine.

Going- Where exactly? 

To be honest, before now, I never really thought about where I'd be at 23 years old. Seems I always knew I'd end up in media, seemed like destiny as everything just fell into place. Went to the 'right' high school, straight to university, enrolled in the 'right' department etc. "Right", because these were all the things I wanted at the time, and I got each and every one, no questions, no strife. So... here I am. In media. And I love it. I am grateful for all my opportunities and what do they say? No where but up from here. However, lately I've been questioning my situation, what else could I be doing? I don't really know what else I'm good at. That one thought has given life to so many other questions... hence, going where?

Growing- Am I?

Growth as a person I mean. How does one determine this? I don't laugh at stupid 'jokes' or comments as much as I used to, many things I used to enjoy I find annoying now and I find I have an urge to settle down and 'start life' in a sense. Does this mean I'm growing as a person? How about the fact that sometimes i don't feel as if I'm doing enough? That I've always been and will remain complacent? The fact that I've never pushed myself, because it seems there has never been a need to? Let's leave this one alone for now, yea? Yea.

Glowing- Yes.

This one i'll admit. "Happiness is hard to recall. It's just a glow" - Frank McCourt. 
Happiness found me when I least expected it and for that I'm eternally grateful. I can't really say I was ever sad per se, but I never realized how much I was missing before now. I can safely say I was a different person then. My happiness cannot be credited to one person or thing, but a set of events that have really opened my eyes to what could and will be. 


It's amazing what you feel when you have something to believe in.


That being said, I'm certain I will be able to answer my own questions in time. Where am I going? I guess I'll have to get up and make the first step to find out. Am I growing? I'll have to challenge myself in order to find out. As for the glowing, hopefully this light never goes out, but if it does, I'm sure, with time, I could rekindle my own flame.